Ch-ch-ch-changes

I've gotten some sweet texts, calls and emails since my post yesterday (gosh, was that yesterday?!?) about feeling very overwhelmed.

One particularly sweet note was from my dear friend Amy who I have mentioned on this blog before - who has been such a rock for me while I was trying to conceive, and then now along the way since she's a mom x2 and knows the ropes.

I obviously won't share the whole note, but the end just made me cry like a baby...

You and Chad will be fun and wonderful parents!! Don't be surprised if you fall completely in love all over again :) Babies have a magical way of doing this. Also allow yourselves the opportunity to acknowledge your marriage has changed. It will never again be what it's been up til this point. It's ok to miss it and ok to be sad about it. It's something that just isn't talked about enough I believe. It is all so very good Carrie. I can promise you that. J will rock the foundation your life rests upon but in the most amazing of ways. The world will no longer look the same to you because your child will now be in it. Take lots of deep breaths cause y'all are about to enter the best moments of your life. It's truly the dessert phase :) So grab your fork and dig in!

I think - for both Chad and I - this has been the unsaid "scary" thing we both worry about. We have such a strong marriage... how is this baby going to change that? I've had friends that say how if you don't watch it, you'll find that after the baby comes you find yourselves just passing each other in the hallways at home is the extent of your interaction with each other.

I remember driving home a couple weeks back after Chad and I went on our fun "date night" and we were just holding hands. I said quietly, "There might not be many more of these nights before this little baby comes." Chad, very solemnly agreed, "I know." He had the look in his eyes that you have when you're trying to hold back tears. And we didn't say much more after that. I think we were scared to. What is there to say? It's all so unknown what will become of "us."

So Amy's note acknowledged what I really didn't have the heart to even bring up, and reassured me so much. This baby isn't going to divide what Chad and I have --- with God's grace it will only multiply it exponentially. I hope my love for Chad isn't lessened now that I have a baby to give my heart to, but that it will grow deeper because I'll fall in love with Chad as the father of our child, and half of the being we made.

It's been about 6 years since I fell in love with Chad.

I'm glad to know that I'll be able to fall in love with him again.