Building my library

I have been SO excited to start purchasing some baby and children's books for Jack. My mom was always great about reading to us and encouraging our reading growing up. So I knew I wanted to start collecting some books .

But where to begin?

I wanted to buy all the books I loved as a child. Books my mom would read to me or ones I'd help read to my younger siblings.

But I also knew there were likely tons of amazing books that have been written in the years between that I wouldn't have a clue about. That's where having a child development expert as your sister-in-law helps. Molly was able to make some good recommendations.

So along with some of my old favorites...


...Molly also suggested getting some fun "board books" for the baby that include fun pictures, bright colors, lots of repetition and rhyming words, etc. She said Sandra Boynton's are great - so I picked up a 4-pack of her "greatest hits":
And, of course, there are the classic "goodnight books" that friends have given me as gifts like:

But my mom also found the sweetest book that I have a feeling will definitely be my favorite to read to my darling boy...


I can't even read the words without crying:

On the night you were born,
The moon smiled with such wonder
That the stars peeked in to see you
And the night wind whispered,
“Life will never be the same.”

Because there had never been anyone like you…ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

It sailed through the farmland
High on the breeze…
Over the ocean…
And through the trees…

Until everyone heard it
And everyone knew
Of the one and only ever you.

Not once had there been such eyes,
Such a nose,
Such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

When the polar bears heard,
They danced until dawn.
From faraway places,
The geese flew home.

The moon stayed up until
Morning next day.
And none of the ladybugs flew away.

So whenever you doubt just how special you are
And you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,
Listen for geese honking high in the sky.
(They’re singing a song to remember you by.)
Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.
(It’s because they’ve been dancing all night for you!)
Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.
(Listen closely…it’s whispering your name again!)

If the moon stays up until morning one day,
Or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,
Or a little bird sits at your window awhile,
It’s because they’re all hoping to see you smile…

For never before in story or rhyme
(not even once upon a time)
Has the world ever known a you, my friend,
And it never will, not ever again…

Heaven blew every trumpet
And played every horn
On the wonderful, marvelous
Night you were born.

Power not Pain

So this weekend was the "big weekend" where Chad and I spent 12 hours in a classroom at the hospital learning about how in the heavens I'm going to deliver this baby.

Other than a few funny words, comments and phrases from our tree hugger/hippie/doula instructor - I think it's safe to say Chad and I found the labor and birth education class to be super helpful and did so much to alleviate a lot of the concerns we had going into this whole "birthing a human" thing.

So here's the thing - if you only based labor off of what you see on television and what your "for some reason I think it's a good idea to terrify you with how hard and difficult labor is" friends tell you about it... no doubt, you'll be terrified. Obviously, I don't think any woman is stupid enough to think labor is easy and painless. But there is more to the picture than that.

As our instructor did a good job in explaining, "pain" during labor isn't pain for no reason. It's a natural response your body is giving because it's doing something it was made to do. It's not like pain from an injury or sickness where your body is telling you something is WRONG. Labor "pains" are completely different. And besides that, the pain is not constant. With each peak of pain comes minutes or seconds where you can regroup and focus to do it again --- God's awesome design. And if we can change from seeing it as scary, scary "pain" into something that is empowering (ummmm hello, you created life and are delivering it!!!) then you can go a long way into alleviating that fear we have going into labor... which will go a long way in making your delivery easier.

So with that knowledge, we learned all about the ins and outs of labor and delivery. We learned about the options available to us and how to advocate for things we do or do not want during labor in order to come up with a birth plan for our ideal birth to share with our doctor before our little man arrives. Everyone has the right to decide what they think would be best for them - so no judgment on what anyone else decides - but I'm glad that Chad and I were on the same page.

We had to do one helpful exercise where we laid out all the options that would go into having our "perfect labor and delivery" and then had to go through acting like if three things went wrong and we had to change what we had wanted, and then add three more things, and three more things until we only had 2 "cards" that were most important to us. These are things that our partner would advocate for us above all else if things were to go south.

Ours were:
Vaginal delivery.
No forceps or vacuum on baby. (I have an 'under no circumstances' for forceps, and if absolutely necessary, I'd let them try the vacuum ONCE very briefly to help guide the baby out. But if there was any resistance, I'd want it to stop immediately. If baby was absolutely lodged in there and was in distress, then we'd absolutely go for c-section.)

My other big "want" - which I know might be hard to fight for - is that I really, really, really unless absolutely medically necessary for the health of me or baby, do NOT want to be induced prior to 42 weeks. So many of the reasons people either want to be induced, or that doctors want you to be induced (mainly liability/medical malpractice reasons) aren't really necessary. We should trust our bodies know when baby is 100% ready to arrive.

Big reason being? Once you start one medical intervention, things are exceedingly more likely to snowball requiring you to need others. Again, this is no knock to those who were pleased as punch to figure out their induction date and proceed to have perfectly healthy babies. It happens all the time. But for us, we really want this to be as natural as possible for both me and our little one.

So here are some of our "wants" for our labor + delivery. As you can see, so many of these "wants" would be eliminated immediately should I have to be induced.

1) Spend as long as possible of "pre-labor" at home. Our hospital is only 7 minutes away, so when our contractions get closer together and more powerful, we'll head on in. Until then, I want to be in the comfort of our own home.

2) I don't want to be hooked up to an IV. I want the freedom to eat and drink as I want to during labor unless I'm showing signs of dehydration. I'll have the little port stuck in my hand ready to go in case I need to be quickly administered an IV or medications --- but I don't want to be tied to an IV.

3) I only want intermittent monitoring for baby. I don't want to be tied to a machine for this either. I'm happy for the nurses to come monitor the baby as often as they want to - but I don't want something strapped to me unless, again, baby is showing signs of distress. This monitoring is the same thing I had on during my non-stress test last week, and I was stuck lying perfectly still because whenever I moved the dang thing would slip and the nurse would have to come in and readjust it.

4) The biggest reasons for numbers 2-3 is I want to be able to move about freely during labor. I don't want to be lying in bed. Our hospital will provide us with a birth ball and each room is equipped with jetted tubs and showers for "aquatherapy" if we want to do that. We spent a good 2 hours practicing various techniques - standing, squatting, sitting and lying that will help open up the pelvis. A lot of times women can get stalled in labor simply because they aren't trying any other positions. Let gravity work with you!

5) After the baby is born, I want to immediately hold him on my chest and unless medically necessary, delay any testing or newborn procedures for one hour.

In terms of drugs, I've been super honest this whole time with the fact that I'm not going into this assuming I'm going to need them. At the same time, I'm not kidding myself that I won't want them. I have no idea how my body is going to be able to manage the pain. But I hope that by being able to move around and work through my contractions with Chad's support, I'll be able to put off (or avoid completely) any pain medications or an epidural. Of course, the ideal situation is for this baby to be born completely unmedicated - it is definitely the best thing for baby and mom if that can happen.

Our instructor mentioned more than once the biggest factor in allowing you to have a natural birth is you believing in your body's ability to do it. I don't want to second-guess myself and don't need anyone telling me "oh you say that now... just you wait!" What does that accomplish? Nothing.

I am completely realistic that in birth, like in every other area of life, things hardly ever go as planned. And I'll be okay with that. The only thing I really care about in the end is having a healthy baby. There are a million different scenarios that can all end with that - that involve any number of combinations of things I do or do not want during my labor + delivery. I just want my little boy at the end and we'll do what we need to do to make that happen. I'm not tied to my plan - because things will change... I have no doubt. But I'm glad that I have an idea of what I want instead of going in this blindly.

Most of all, I'm so thankful to have Chad. As big of a goofball as he is, took the class very seriously and I have no doubt he is going to be the most amazing support system for me in that hospital. I'm also so thankful to have baby Jack... I've said it before: Jack is a fighter. I know he is. I can feel it. It's crazy, but I really feel like the three of us - Chad, Jack and I - are going into this together as a team and we're going to work this thing out. I have completely confidence in my ability to do this, Jack's ability to cooperate with me to get him out, and Chad's ability to support us all.

Only a little over 6 weeks left.

And I finally feel ready.

Panic Routine

This weekend, Chaddyboy and I go to our Labor and Birth Education classes at the hospital where I'll be delivering little Jack. In preparation for the class, the hospital sent a large booklet for us to read ahead of time.

I had to keep reading it in stages because all the talk about labor and delivery would freak me out and I'd start crying.

WHAT IF I CAN'T DO THIS?!!?!?

I know it's a little too late now. No turning back. But seriously, I'm terrified. And I know it's hormones and it's (somewhat) irrational - so no need for all my mom friends to send me pitying emails about how this is normal. I know this.

I texted Molly last night just to be sure.

I just got to keep reminding myself that babies are born every minute. Women have been doing this for generations. And they end up having MULTIPLE babies... so it's obviously not the end of the world.

But it's just the fear of the unknown. And knowing that every birth is different - so I can't assume my labor and delivery is going to be like someone else's.

With that said - I told Chad he better double- and triple-read the page on "What to do if the laboring woman panics."I loooove some of these "pre-panic signals" like if lose my focal point and start thrashing my head from side to side.


So great - I can potentially turn into the exorcist. Lucky for us there is a "Panic Routine" at the bottom which includes things such as holding my head in his hands, breathing with me and reassuring me. Chad said he thinks if he tries to touch me or tell me to slow my breathing than I'd be liable to start cursing like a sailor at him to leave me the $#%*^$% alone.

After Chad reads through this dang booklet, we're going to need another page:

"What to do if the support person panics."

Baby update: 32 ... or is it 33 weeks

Back to the doctor again this morning for a ultrasound to check on the growth of our little boy.

Here's the rundown:
Mama's doing great -
Nice blood pressure of 108/60
Weight gain - 10.5 lbs
Gestational diabetes - readings are all great, nothing to be concerned about

Baby is doing great-
Our son is growing! First good new - he is in the head-down position. I know he can still twist himself around some, but hopefully he'll stay that way! The little one is now 4lbs 8oz and in the 53 percentile... which the doctor is very, very pleased with. I'm measuring closer to 33 weeks than 32 (fine with me - let's get this show on the road), and the doctor thinks I'm right on track to have a "perfect sized" 7lb baby. I can do 7lbs. ;) Little mister was very cooperate during the ultrasound and we got to see his sweet little face!

{profile shot of our lovie}

The only thing a little bit worrisome (and I stress little because the doctor told me to NOT freak out because my numbers are only slightly off) is the fact that my fluid levels surrounding the baby are a teeny bit into the low range. He said he'd be much more concerned about this if the baby wasn't growing right on target, as low fluid + low size could indicate a problem with the placenta.

So just to make sure this isn't an ongoing (or worsening problem) - I go back in later this week for a NST (Fetal Non-Stress Test) where they'll attached a "belt" to my stomach and monitor the baby's movements, heart rate and any contractions for about 20-30 minutes. Then we'll go back in next Tuesday for an ultrasound so they can re-measure the fluid around baby and to make sure the little guy is still growing.

In the meantime, I need to be drinking water like it's my job.

There are complications (of course) if low-amniotic fluid continues to be a problem - but I'm not letting myself get worked up over it until I know that it's an issue... and not just a miscalculation. So I'm trying to stay upbeat since all indications (mainly his growth and his veryyyy frequent movements indicate he is doing just fine.)

But I'm glad Chad and I got to see our little boy today. We just are so in love already.

(Almost) Final Nursery

I can't say there won't be another Final FINAL Nursery post - because I know there are a few more things that we'll be incorporating into the room - some shelves (sorry Chad, hadn't told you about this yet), storage, etc.

But..... for the most part - WE ARE DONE.

{baby jack's nursery}

I absolutely adore Jack's room - it is definitely becoming one of my favorite rooms in the house. It is so calming and serene, and, well - beautiful. We put a lot of hard work into making this room special - including lots of DIY projects.

So without further adieu...

{crib and cloud "mobile"}

{more crib + clouds}

{side view}

{crib and bedding}

{crib}

{crib bedding}

{the "clouds" came from by baby shower -thanks for the idea mom and sis!}

{end table, glider and ottoman, dresser and art}

{end table, chair and ottoman}

{dresser and art}

{details: lambie rattle from Pinehurst, "advice jar" to Jack and letter J from my shower}

{lovie and ratte from Eliza and Molly respectively, burp clothes from Heather}

So there it is --- Now all we need is the baby!


All the deets
Paint - Benjamin Moore, Lake Placid and Sherwin Williams, Dover White
Crib - Million Dollar Baby, Annabelle
Glider and ottoman - Best Chairs, Quinn
Bedding - Serena & Lily, Blake
Cloud mobile - Martha Stewart (raindrops by sister)
Toile minky blanket - Etsy, no longer available
Pictures - DIY based-off Spot on Square
Dresser and end table - bought unfinished, painted ourselves
Side table lamp - Target
Lovie and rattle - Angel Dear

Pregnancy Week by Week 29-32

Week 29-32 (Month 7)How is it possible that I'm entering my 8th month of pregnancy?

Baby Size: A squash (or head of lettuce.) According to my "What to Expect" pregnancy tracker on my phone, this week baby is 19in. and 3.9 lbs! I have an ultrasound on Tuesday though so I'll get the "official" numbers then.
How I feel about being pregnant: I feel really blessed that I've been able to carry the baby as long as I have. Though I've had some bumps along the way, this pregnancy has really been an absolutely incredible experience. I have a feeling by the time I do my next entry at 9 months I'll likely been feeling a wee bit different. ;) Right now I'm still loving having this baby in me (despite the accompanying discomfort) and I just love watching and feeling my little boy move around all day.
Symptoms: My body is just pretty sore trying to carry around all this extra baby up front. My lower back is so sore that I have been sleeping with a heating pad every night (and often putting it on my work chair during the days) to try to combat it. Also, I'm drinking water like a crazy person - I'm soooo thirsty all the time.
Food cravings: I'd still saying nothing crazy. I haven't been dying for pickles, ice cream or anything. Every now and then I'll be in the mood for something, but I don't think it is any different (or more intense) than any pre-pregnancy food cravings.... minus the bag of peanut M&Ms I crushed yesterday afternoon.
What I'm most excited about: Ummm, no brainer. Meeting the little man. But also, seeing Chad as a father. I'm pretty excited for that. As for the more immediate "excitement" - I'm pretty pumped for my ultrasound on Tuesday to see our little guy again.
Something I've done to prepare for baby: Nursery is, for all intents and purposes, done! I'm sure we'll add little knick-knacks between now and D-day, but it's completely ready for baby! Also, thanks to generous gifts from friends and family, we have a lot of the big items we need - crib, carseat, stroller, high chair, etc.
Special moment: Definitely my baby shower this past weekend. I had such a nice time with a wonderful group of women. Also, all the continued love and support from other moms I know has been incredible.

Nursery... just a taste

We have another "project" for the nursery I hope to have finished by tomorrow night, so hopefully Friday I'll do an updated nursery post.

Lots of changes since I last posted!

But for now, here's just a taste:

A name

Over the years, we've (and by we, I usually mean me) casually talked about names for our future babies. .

Girls names were easier for us; there were plenty we really liked. Almost too many, in fact. But we had a hard time coming to a consensus on a little boy's name. That was until we GOT it. Then we were so much more sure of our boy's name than we were on a girl's name.

We wanted a name that had meaning to us.

Something we both 100% loved... not one we got the other to just "agree" to.

A family name.

A strong name.

A name that would work just as well for a sweet little boy, as it would for a grown man.

A name that we wouldn't get sick of.

Nothing trendy.

Timeless.

Lucky for us, we already have a beautiful name in our home.

Chadwick Jonathan Barnhill.

My husband has a beautiful name. I've always loved it. We both smiled at the idea of passing down a father's name to his son. But we wanted them to be different. I didn't want to call little man Chad as well... too confusing. And Jonathan or John, while great names, just didn't strike either of us as the right nickname. So we thought some more... both of us have always loved the name, Jack. It's a great boy's and man's name. So, we figured, why not just call our little CJB, Jr. "Jack" for short. Though not the most common nickname, I figured Jonathan -> John -> Jack. And the "ck" in Chadwick also carries over nicely.

It just works for us. We love it. Baby Jack. Our little Jack.


We've already gotten used to it. We talk to Jack using his name all the time. We never really say "the baby." It's, "I'm ready for Jack to be here." Or, "I'm thinking about this for Jack's nursery." Or, "Oh my GOSH Jack will.not.stop.moving. in my stomach." (which is what I'm thinking right this second!)

So there it is. Our firstborn's name.

Jack, we're ready for you, son!

Showered!

I had my first baby shower on Saturday afternoon - thrown with love by my baby sister Samantha... with some assistance from mom and Molly. It was such a special afternoon.

My sis, who has an affinity for design/wedding/creative blogs, did a masterful job of putting together SO many cute ideas for my "shower."

{cloud decorations which we're going to use as a mobile in the baby's room}

{milk bottles with cloud straws}

{homemade cupcakes courtesy of SK - which were the hit of the party}

{homemade marshmallows -plain, s'more and caramel pretzel. um yeah. as amazing as they sound.}

{advice table - my favorite thing. sweet j's jar is sitting on his nightstand}


{guest favors... i have an affinity for lemon drops}

Unfortunately, I did not get ANY pictures of the attendees or myself for that matter. Or the food (other than dessert) or drinks - which you should know is a real shame since it's well-established that the women in my family can COOK!

It was just such a fun afternoon and I had a great time with the loved ones there to celebrate our little boy. Thank you so so much to my family, especially my sister, for all her time and hard work she put into making this such a special day. (Inside joke: SK, if I had to "baby scattegories" you, I'd say amazing, beautiful, creative, darling, energetic... ;)

And... since Chad's already started dropping baby's name on Facebook... I figured I'll announce it later on the blog. But here's a hint: baby's first monogram cloth...

Baby update

I had my 30+ week check-up yesterday and all went well. It's hard to believe I only have about 9 weeks left until my due date. Where does the time go?!

My gestational diabetes readings have continued to be completely normal - which I attribute to (for the most part) sticking well to my diet and exercise. I have gained 10lbs on the nose for this pregnancy thus far. My doctors continue to think that I'll likely gain right under 20lbs total for the pregnancy. One of my OBs yesterday told me that he is so proud of me and that I'm doing perfect. The baby is growing (according to the stomach measurements) and is measuring right in line with where he should be.

This is a relief, because I was definitely beating myself up for the diabetes thing - so I'm glad to know that I'm managing it all well and that the baby and I are responding appropriately. My blood pressure continues to be within a normal range and everything else looks fine.

The biggest thing I've been proud of during the last several weeks (despite my ballooning belly) has been my ability to continue working out on a regular basis (every weeknight that I'm home) for about 30-45 minutes on the elliptical. I asked my doctor about my exercise yesterday and if I was fine to continue up until the birth - and he told me absolutely and it was one of the best things I can be doing for myself and baby. Not only will it help me bounce back to quicker after the birth, but it will also go a ways to improve my endurance to help with the most intense work-out I'll likely ever experience - LABOR.

My evening workouts have been great to get me breathing hard and heart and blood really pumping. I also think it helps wear my body out a little more so that I'm sleeping better than I would without it.

As much as I'd like to pat myself on the back for all this, part of this has really been luck. I know some ladies, who despite their best efforts, for various reasons have to take it easy the last few months of pregnancy (due to swelling, sickness, exhaustion, bed-rest, etc.) I'm thankful that my body has continued to cooperate with me - for the time being - so I'm going to take advantage of it as long as I safely can!

I go back in 2 weeks for another check-up and ultrasound (yay!) to make sure the baby is continuing to grow not too big and not too small. I can't wait to see my little guy again!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I've gotten some sweet texts, calls and emails since my post yesterday (gosh, was that yesterday?!?) about feeling very overwhelmed.

One particularly sweet note was from my dear friend Amy who I have mentioned on this blog before - who has been such a rock for me while I was trying to conceive, and then now along the way since she's a mom x2 and knows the ropes.

I obviously won't share the whole note, but the end just made me cry like a baby...

You and Chad will be fun and wonderful parents!! Don't be surprised if you fall completely in love all over again :) Babies have a magical way of doing this. Also allow yourselves the opportunity to acknowledge your marriage has changed. It will never again be what it's been up til this point. It's ok to miss it and ok to be sad about it. It's something that just isn't talked about enough I believe. It is all so very good Carrie. I can promise you that. J will rock the foundation your life rests upon but in the most amazing of ways. The world will no longer look the same to you because your child will now be in it. Take lots of deep breaths cause y'all are about to enter the best moments of your life. It's truly the dessert phase :) So grab your fork and dig in!

I think - for both Chad and I - this has been the unsaid "scary" thing we both worry about. We have such a strong marriage... how is this baby going to change that? I've had friends that say how if you don't watch it, you'll find that after the baby comes you find yourselves just passing each other in the hallways at home is the extent of your interaction with each other.

I remember driving home a couple weeks back after Chad and I went on our fun "date night" and we were just holding hands. I said quietly, "There might not be many more of these nights before this little baby comes." Chad, very solemnly agreed, "I know." He had the look in his eyes that you have when you're trying to hold back tears. And we didn't say much more after that. I think we were scared to. What is there to say? It's all so unknown what will become of "us."

So Amy's note acknowledged what I really didn't have the heart to even bring up, and reassured me so much. This baby isn't going to divide what Chad and I have --- with God's grace it will only multiply it exponentially. I hope my love for Chad isn't lessened now that I have a baby to give my heart to, but that it will grow deeper because I'll fall in love with Chad as the father of our child, and half of the being we made.

It's been about 6 years since I fell in love with Chad.

I'm glad to know that I'll be able to fall in love with him again.

Nursery updates and more

So I kicked off my weekend last Friday by getting together for lunch with one of my sweet girlfriends, Eliza, who was in town from D.C. We had a great time at lunch catching up - and probably spoke a million miles a minute to try to recap everything that was going on in our lives.

{me (@29wks) and eliza }

She also brought the sweetest little gifts for baby J - including a "pee pee teepee" which is exactly what it sounds like, and exactly the type of gift Eliza would crack up over buying.


Man this little boy is spoiled already! I forgot to take a picture of the precious Kissy Kissy outfit my love Laura bought for him last week. How lucky was I to be able to lunch with THREE college girlfriends within five days. What a great week!

The weekend continued by knocking some things off the nursery checklist. Our Quinn chair and glider arrived and has already become my new favorite seat in the house!

The sage toile minky blanket hanging on the back is this little love:


... and it has a story behind it! A couple years ago, in the midst of our trying to conceive, I was surrounded by friends getting pregnant. So I was having to constantly shop for baby shower gifts for friends, despite a pain in my heart and a barren womb. Well I found this gorgeous blanket on Etsy and fell in love. I marked it as one of my favorites and would go back and look at it from time to time. I wondered if I should buy it for a friend, because I refused to by anything for my future baby because I was terrified we'd never get pregnant.

But this blanket just had a hold on me. I finally sucked it up and bought it - telling myself if I became convinced purchasing something for our non-existent baby would jinx me, I'd give it to a friend. So I've had it sitting in the back of a closet for almost two years! I'm SO glad I bought and kept it because it's a gentle reminder of a tender stage of our lives. I can't wait to wrap baby up in all its softness!

Chad also finished painting Baby J's new dresser, and hung two of the new pictures! We have the third one done, but haven't been able to put it up yet. I swear Chad and I can never finish a project without some unforeseen (minor) complication that delays it. I know it's God's way of teaching me patience. I'm definitely a "get it done" girl - so it drives me up a wall to have a project half-finished.

We (and by we, I mean Chad) still need to prime and paint the end table to go next to the chair, but after that's finished... we're really pretty much done with the nursery --- minus a few knick knacks!

But the room is really coming along and I couldn't be more pleased. It's such a sweet, calming room and I wish the pictures could do it justice. Everyone who has seen it in person said they love it so much more than they even did online. It's just hard to translate to pictures!

Cloth diapering

Okay so since I follow many other "mommy bloggers" (and have since pre-pregnancy), I have always been interesting in cloth diapering --- as opposed to disposable, for those not 'in the know.' Actually - I should start by saying now unless you are a mom, or mom-to-be, you'll probably have no interest whatsoever in this post so feel free to quick reading now.

But onward and upward...

I wanted to be a "cloth diaper" mom but I knew the reaction Chad would have to the idea. Which is the exact reaction he did give to the idea: head shake, arms crossed and an "absolutely not." And while the concept of cloth diapering seems to have so many advantages (less diaper rash, less blow outs, less expensive, better for the environment, easier transition to potty training, etc.), I was also trying to put myself in the place of my mother-in-law (who will be kindly watching our child during some of the workdays). Her watching our baby is such a godsend anyway, I didn't want to do anything to make watching our baby MORE difficult for her. And I know the idea of cloth diapering can seem super scary.

So I told myself 1) Chad says no, 2) Tons of people use disposable and have for years... it's going to be fine, and 3) This will be easier.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Finally, Molly decided she wanted to attempt cloth diapering with James --- and within a day she was already feeling like a convert. Sure it's more expensive up front, but you're saving money in the long run and it really isn't any more difficult, once you get the hang of it.

I went home last night and told Chad that I knew he already was against this, but please let's look into it further. There are plenty of advantages and I'd at least want to give it a shot. He didn't oppose - and I feel like I'm going to be able to show him that we'll be able to find a system that can work for our needs.

And I think I've figured it out. At least, here is my general plan... for now.

I want to get several gDiapers - these seem like the best of both worlds because we can use the cloth inserts at home, and if Chad's mom is completely grossed out by the idea of cloth, she can use 100% biodegradable inserts that she can just flush down the toilet (and reuse the outer shell.) This is what is called a "hybrid" diaper. It allows us to go completely cloth at our home and overnight, but we have the option of bringing flushable inserts when we go out so we're not carrying around soiled inserts.


Then, I'd also like to try a couple other brands of all-cloth diapers that are "one size" so that it can transition as baby grows. A few brands I'm interested in are Fuzzibunz...
and Best Bottom, which Molly has been using and really likes.
I have still not been given the "all clear" from Chaddy yet to proceed, but I'm hoping he can watch Molly do a few demonstrations on his cute little nephew to ease his fears that cloth diapering will be SO overwhelming.

So, moms - what do you think? Anyone else have any good/bad/indifferent ideas on cloth diapering? Please comment and let a sista know!

Bad blogger

I know, I know. Bad blogger again. Things have just been super busy at work lately - and being in Charlotte for the beginning part of the week made my schedule a little wonky.

That said, let's recap!

We had a really, really nice weekend. Friday night, Chad and I had a good ol' fashioned date night at our favorite restaurant in Raleigh. The executive chef is a dear friend of ours and was wonderful to come assist us with our food choices throughout the evening. The standout (for both of us, I'd say) was our appetizers... we had Chef James' curried corn soup which was honestly the best soup I've had in my life, along with chick-pea crusted oysters... which were perfectly cooked and super fresh.

Saturday, we got up early to head to the farmer's market for some breakfast and shopping. We bought some delicious goodies at the market - fresh basil, red potatoes and, of course, the first crop of sweet white corn of the season. That night we had my parents, Mike, Molly and baby Jamesy come over for a "summer + James' 3rd month celebration." We made a heavenly frogmore stew that night - crab legs, shrimp, corn, onion, potatoes boiled in water, beer, lemon juice and lots and lots of Old Bay.

{let's dig in!}

James enjoyed getting strapped in his Moby with his daddy and couldn't keep his eyes off all the food! Now, eating this feast with a baby strapped to your chest is no easy feat - as Mike will attest. He had to lean to the side each time he took a bite so juices, cocktail sauce and butter wouldn't fall on baby's head. It was definitely entertaining - if nothing else.


This little guy and his chunky little legs seriously has my heart. And his mama and daddy aren't too bad either. ;) I feel so blessed that Chad and I have some built in "friends" within our family. We always have the best time with them.

Sunday, we had church and KidCity - and then went to a surprise birthday get-together for one of my best friends... which was a blast (and a definite surprise to the birthday girl!). After that, we hit the road to Charlotte.

The hotel we stayed at was super nice - and we were right in the middle of the city. I worked from the hotel during the day, and Chaddy and I would walk to dinner each night and then walked around uptown after we ate (since it's becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me to sit or lay with a full stomach.)

But, by far the best part of the trip was getting to see two of my really close girlfriends.

Monday I had a great lunch with Amy - and got to enjoy comparing pregnancy stories together... all the more fun since our little ones are only about a week apart. It has been so nice to have someone who is going through all the same things I am at the same time. She looks absolutely glowing and beautiful and I'm so excited for her baby girl to get here!

Then on Tuesday, I got to see my sweet Laura - who has held her own special little place in my heart since our college days. I took one look at her and almost burst out crying because I forgot how much I missed her. There are just certain people you meet in your life and you feel like no matter how much time passes, or how far away you live from each other, that you will always have this bond. I told Chad it was sad that Laura had to go back to work after our lunch because I honestly think we could have sat there talking until midnight. But I'm already going to force her to make a special Raleigh trip once baby J arrives so he (and I) can get some Laura time.

Chad and I headed home last night, and while we appreciated the getaway, we were SO happy to be back sleeping in our own beds.

As for a pregnancy update:
1) I've thought I had heartburn once or twice. Ummm, I obviously didn't. Because starting yesterday there is no mistaking the distinct feeling that my esophagus is on FIRE.
2) And speaking about being on fire - today is the first day that I have finally grasped the whole "Omg, I'm SO sorry you're going to be super pregnant over the summer" comment I've gotten about 390093249032 times. It is miserably HOT outside.
3) Baby J's new trick includes trying to wedge his foot up under my ribs. Needless to say, I hope he gets bored with it soon.

Pregnancy Week by Week 25-28

Week 25-28 (Month 6)
Hellooooooooooo 3rd trimester!

Baby size: Eggplant
How I feel about being pregnant: I really have loved being pregnant these past several weeks. I've felt good, had lots of energy, have enjoyed watching/feeling my little one get stronger and stronger (and bigger and bigger.) It's just an amazing experience... one I desperately hope I'll be able to do at least one more time. ;)
Symptoms: I'm just generally a bit more sore now. It takes more work to stand/sit-up. My muscles are always a little achy and my back/tailbone give me the most problems. Other than that, most nights (assuming the baby isn't waking me up with kicks) I'm sleeping really well... other than the occasional getting up to go to the bathroom.
Food cravings: Well diabetes put a damper on this one since most of the things I would want to indulge in I'm having to say "no" too. But it really hasn't been bad. The one thing I desperately miss is my WINE. White, red, rose, sparkling - all of it. It's especially hard now that it's getting warmer. Last spring/summer I would be out on our screened in porch most every night with a cool glass of sauvignon blanc. I won't lie, once or twice I've had the teeniest bit of wine (like seriously 1/4 cup or less.) Especially now that I'm in the third trimester I have the all-clear from my doctor to drink a glass every now in then if I want one... but I'm trying to not. Maybe only one or two teeny tastes between now and my lil' hoppa being here.
What I'm most excited about: No question - meeting my little fella in person. I'm thankful to have reached 28 weeks... so if my baby was born any time after now, it would have a 95% chance of survival since its lungs have reached a good maturity level. So as much as I might want him here now!now!now!, I want him to keep growing for several more weeks so he's nice and strong when he arrives!
Something I've done to prepare for baby: The nursery is really coming along! We have purchased all the major items we need for it - now it's just finishing it all up. I hope within the month it will be complete enough for me to put up some pictures!
Special moment: Can't think of one thing in particular, but Chad and I have really been enjoying our time together these past several weeks... the last few months of "just the two of us." I remember wanting to get pregnant RIGHT after we got married, but in retrospect, I'm glad by the time baby arrives, we will have (wow) 3.5 years of marriage under our belt. I feel like we have a really solid foundation for our family to grow upon. I hope Baby J benefits from having two parents who really love each other and cherish our time together. I pray that as much as I'm sure our lives will become wrapped up in this little person, that we never stop being "us."

My wish

During a nine-month pregnancy, you spend a lot of time thinking about what your baby is going to be like. What will they look like? Will they be funny/smart/athletic/beautiful? Will they be outgoing or an introvert? Will they have blue eyes or brown? And what will they be when they grow up? Nurse? Lawyer? Scientist? Teacher? Who will they marry? Will THEY have kids of their own? The list goes on.

I've spent some time thinking about those things. And after a bit reflection, I've realized that there is really only one thing I want for my child.

I want my child to know and love God.

Man.

If I get that, I don't care about a single other thing. If during their time on this earth - be it short or long - if they love God, that's all that matters to me.

A friend of mine posted this video of her church's Easter service (this is the same amazing church my parents and sister go to) - and about 3:30 minutes into the video they show a little boy - probably 9 or 10, being baptized. And I cried like a baby for about an hour when I saw it. Because, I want so badly for that to be my little boy one day.

Summit Church Easter Experience from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Why? Because knowing God is absolutely life changing. I know. I've experienced it. I know the difference. I know what I'm like, and how I feel, when I have left God behind and walked in the flesh. And I know what it's like to live in the freedom of God's sovereignty and grace. And there is really no comparison.

I know a lot of people feel strongly that you shouldn't force your kids into church and religion. You should let it be a choice.

But I guess the way I see it is this: I know what the Bible says is true. I believe that the only way to heaven is through Jesus. So, knowing that, why would I not do everything I can to let my children know about Jesus and who He is? In the end, it is still their choice. They get to an age where no matter how much teaching and instruction you have given them, they get to choose on their own. And that's the way God wanted it to be. We can't accept God for our child - he or she must decide it for themselves.

Chad accepted this truth at 6. I didn't truly accept Him until 16. And then we both continue to accept it every day.

Months ago, I was talking to my wise mama about this very thing. And I thought she explained it so well: "Say you had the secret to financial security. You knew what it would take to have financial peace, stay out of debt, etc. Would you want to tell your child about it? Or would you wait until they ran up thousands of dollars in credit card bills and foreclosed on their house and then decide whether or not to talk to them about it. Of COURSE you would tell them. We teach our kids millions of things. We are constantly expressing our opinions on them in every other area of life. Why would you NOT teach them about the most important part - their salvation?"

I guess I just would never want to wait a second to tell my child about the most important truth in their life. With Him there are no tricks, gimmicks or hoops to jump through.

All He's ever asked if that we just BELIEVE him.

Baby J Update

So sorry for the lack of posts this week. Blogger has been down - and I thought to try logging in from Internet Explorer instead of Firefox and it magically let me in. Hope they fix it soon!


Welllll, we had our follow-up appointment with a perinatal doctor this morning - which included a nice long ultrasound. We got a good 30 minutes to watch our little boy, and it was awesome. He has been moving nonstop lately, and he definitely was jabbing back at the ultrasound tech whenever she pressed down. She even had to told him, "I know you're in there!!!" He just wanted to make himself known.


We got another full anatomy scan, and all his organs are still growing perfectly. He's also still a "he" - because, ya know, I just had to triple check. He looks so much bigger now and I could definitely see his sweet little face much better than last time. He was looking right at the camera just for us!


J is measuring right on point - 26 weeks 6 days (right where I am.) He's a little thing - weighs exactly 2lbs right now and in the 18% percentile... but everything looks great and he's still super active... and if the kicks are any indication, he's nice and strong. The doctor said he's pretty sure I'm going to have a little baby, so I shouldn't have much to worry about with a "big baby" associated with gestational diabetes. But they'll do another check between 32-36 weeks to make sure he's still growing appropriately.


And on the diabetes front, my blood sugar readings were completely normal throughout the week. I get to decrease my finger pricks from 4x a day to 2x... much more manageable. The nutritionist also told me to feel free to be less strict with my diet, since everything looks so good. I was down 0.6lbs since last week, so now I'm only up 7.4lbs so far. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned, but told me they do want me gaining at least 1lb a week from here on out.


My mom is most concerned and is threating to show up on my doorstep with cupcakes if this weight gain doesn't come. But, if you could see my belly, it's definitely not the issue. My stomach has definitely grown - I just think my weight redistributed from other places... and I can't complain about that. ;)


But I'm off work tomorrow for an extra long Memorial Day weekend. We're heading to Pinehurst in the morning for a few days of sun, food, spa appointments and golfing. I can't wait to just relax for a few days!


I promise to be back next week with a good 27 week bump picture!


Hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Diaper Bag - check!

Okay, so here is the thing. If I know exactly what I want - I am a quick trigger person. I don't hesitate. I whip out my credit card and do the dang thing.

So I've learned to pay attention to my instincts if I don't want to instantly purchase something. Because if I have to hem and haw over it... and then I purchase... almost always I get buyers remorse. That's how I've felt for the past 6 months about diaper bags. I'd see something I'd like, make a note of it, and even tell myself that I'd really like it.

But there would always be something that held me back. I never had the urge to take out my credit card and swipe.

Truth: finding a diaper bag is no easy feat. There are soooo many different styles, sizes and shapes. Different patterns and materials. Reviews that are conflicting - too big, too small, not enough compartments, too many compartments, not wipeable enough, not good enough material, not as pictured, etc., etc., etc.

So, yesterday I was very close to purchasing this yellow Liz Lange diaper bag. I had been eying Liz Lange bags since the beginning... but for some reason I couldn't pull the trigger. Sure, of everything I had seen, I liked it best. It looked the most like something I would carry. I liked the bright yellow leather and gold hardware. But then I'd hesitate - I was afraid after a few months of bright yellow, the color would wear on me. I was afraid that the a bright color in the winter would look funny. I was scared that yellow would clash with about 50+% of my outfits.

And, honestly, if I'm buying a diaper bag because it looks like something I would carry, I need it to be something that at least matches the majority of my wardrobe.

So I kept looking. It wasn't easy.

I thought about this one...

or this one...

or this one...

but none of them felt 100% right... though there were parts of them I liked for different reasons. But still, nothing "trigger worthy."

And then I found it.
The Storksak Gigi. It was me in a diaper bag. Simple. Good quality. Without the bells and whistles. Something I could carry all the time and not get sick of. Something that if Chad had to carry around a shopping mall, he wouldn't feel like an idiot. Something that even post-baby would probably work great as a laptop bag. It just worked. I had found it.

The next decision. Brown or black. I love them both. How can I possibly decide?!?!

Answer: hassle one of my best girlfriends at the beach with a 7:45 a.m. text message to pleaseeee help me decide. It was hard enough for find a bag I actually wanted to purchase- why did it have to tempt me with two excellent color choices.

We both quickly agreed that black with the tan piping would have been ideal... but alas, that was not in the cards. But when I thought about it:

1) Although you can totally do brown+black together, I wear black much more often than brown.
2) Black is less likely to show scratches, pen marks and stains. (A necessity for me in a normal purse - never mind a diaper bag.)
3) My stroller (which this puppy will be hanging on the back of often) is cream and black.

So black it is.And thanks to free two-day shipping, this little princess will be mine all mine come Monday.

So I'm sooooooo glad I didn't purchase one of the other diaper bags just because I was anxious to mark it off my list. I found one that I 100% adore. Three cheers for me!