Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Mom-To-Be Promise

I know you should "never say never" when it comes to what you WON'T do when you become a mom, but I have a few that I realllllyyyyyyyy hope I keep my word on. If not, I have a couple girlfriends that I know would have no problem calling me out for one of these infractions:

1) Talking about my child's bowel movements on Facebook. Neither in this world or the next is any person other than me/myself/and/I interested in if, how often, where, what color, what consistency, etc. my child's pee or poop is... and I hope I'm never disillusioned enough to think otherwise. And that lead's me to #2...

2) I will never use the word "blowout" in a status message unless, perhaps, it refers to something that happened to my tire on the side of the interstate. Also, following a theme, leads me to #3...

3) Post pictures of said bowel movements/kid on potty/etc. on Facebook. Hey, way to mortify your kid 15 years down the road. People do realize that once something is put online... it is there FOREVER. Like this even needs to be said, but let those at STFUParents show you otherwise.

4) Be "soooooooooooooooooooooo busy" being a mom... yet having time to write status messages every 10 minutes about what I'm so busy doing. A girl I knew from high school would do this, and I finally ended up having to remove her as a friend because it would drive me absolutely crazy and I was scared one day I was going to blast her saying, "I bet you'd find a wholeeeeeee lot more hours in the day if you get the heck off Facebook."Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt being a mom is non-stop, 100% demanding job that exhausts you in a way you have never been exhausted before. But your credibly is lost when you find time to share it constantly on a social networking site.

5) Ooooh, I might ruffle feathers for this one... but I'm doing it. I promise to not bring my child out to a restaurant and let my child scream his/her head off for minutes on end without taking action. And action = bring his/her butt outside until they calm down, or leaving completely... if need be. So many people have the attitude "I shouldn't have to barricade myself at home just because I have a baby." No, no you don't. But if you're bringing your kid to a place whether other people are also going to enjoy an afternoon or evening out - I don't think it's fair to let your little one ruin it for everyone around them. My mom and dad had five of us kids -and they both maintain to this day that this constant screaming of kids (and their parents ignoring it) is not necessary. If we'd scream, we went outside. Period. If your kid is too young to behave, find a babysitter. Not everyone is as good as you are at drowning out your child's wails.

Those are my big ones at the top of my mind, so I just felt need to put it in writing. If there are any other things that new moms do that drive you C.R.A.Z.Y. please let me know.


  1. Hilarious!! I don't think it'll be too hard to keep your list since most of it is about FB. It drives me crazy when people use FB like twitter ;-). I think you should definitely do a post-baby post about what you thought you'd never do and what you're doing. I did here and it was funny to me!

  2. Haha that is a great post -thanks for sending Grace. And I do love your blog and getting to see cute little Ruthie!