Monday, December 14, 2009

Oh Christmas Lights, Oh Christmas Lights

WARNING! WARNING! I WILL OFFEND PEOPLE WITH THIS POST.

I'm sorry. But part of writing this blog is putting "me" out there. And sometimes people don't agree with me. And that's okay! Who says I'm right anyway? Well... other than me. So if you don't agree with what I wrote - don't get all huffy and stop reading. Instead send this blog to 10 friends and talk about how crazy this woman is that is soooo wrong about fill in the ________.

Okay, so onward and upward.

Chad and I decided on Friday evening to cruise through our soon-to-be new neighborhood so I could check out the Christmas decorations at nighttime (i.e.: scope out next year's competition). Now, I love me some Christmas. Every part of it - sights, smells, songs... you name it, I'm feeling it.

Minus two major things.

1) Colored lights. Yes - that means any color other than white. And yes - I like vanilla ice cream too. DEAL WITH IT. You say boring... I say traditional.
2) Inflatable Christmas decorations.


Do you know what Santa says to that? "No! No! No!" (Get it... like Ho! Ho! Ho!. Come on guys. If I have to explain the joke my blog loses steam.)

Okay maybe there are a few other things. I hate when people put lights around like one random bush or tree... nothing anywhere else. Really people? You only had time/money/energy to put lights on ONE tree? Wack.

I hate when you put the cute little candles in all your windows ( plus+), but don't put a beautiful wreath on your door. Weak.

I hate when you do have beautiful decorations on your house but don't put some spotlighting to illuminate your beautiful decorations. Don't you realize there are freaks like me that drive around peoples neighborhoods at night to critique your decorations. If I can't see yours...well... you are opening yourself up to criticism.

So back to last Friday's cruise through the 'hood. For the most part - I'm extremely pleased with my soon-to-be neighbors commitment to decorating a beautiful house. Though, whenever I passed a non-decorated house, I would say "Jewish" which Chad finds highly offensive... but I, of course, don't mean anything by it other than they obvi don't decorate for Christmas, duh. Of course I could say "Atheists" which perhaps may be more P.C., so I might start trying that.

Okay, stop calling me names. My dear friend Baby Liza is Jewish... and when we lived together she was super pumped to go buy a Christmas tree and decorate it (her first), and we made things even by having her put up a menorah and putting some dreidels on a table. I'm an Equal Opportunity Celebrator.

My sister told me this weekend that Jewish people put blue lights up on their house to celebrate Hanukkah. I have seen maybe one house with blue lights on it in the last several years, and I know there are a lot more Jewish people than that, so I reject her theory. (Any Jewish readers, please feel free to set me straight on your holiday decorating by leaving comments below!)

Okay, so back to Christmas lights and people getting angry with me. I really, really don't like colored lights. Doesn't matter if they are solid green, red or multicolored. Just.don't.like.them.

Chad yelled at me for this too saying, "You are NO fun. What if our CHILDREN want colored lights and inflatables?! Are you really going to deprive them of that because you're a snob?"

He said this with the utmost disdain in his voice making me wonder if I am even fit to be a parent. I told him, "I will teach my children that pretty white lights, with pretty white candles in windows, with pretty wreaths are what they should expect and look forward to at Christmastime. Or if they really want colored lights, that will be their only Christmas present."

Ha!

So I tried to find a picture online of some pretty houses that meet my approval - and I obviously cannot find the right key words. I'm finding a-plenty ugly decorations - but no luck on pretty ones. So as a commitment to this blog, I will see if I can pull Chad out of the house tonight to drive around with me to find some I like and I'll post them.

And, if you'd like to send me pictures of your house decorations - I'd be happy to give them an honest critique... which may or may not be posted to my blog. If they are, I'll make sure to ask permission first! Send to: myprettylittlethoughts@gmail.com.

Please come back tomorrow. I promise I'm not a horrible person. xo

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