The Great Turkey Search

My dad has requested that he be allowed to guest blog from time to time. Since he was so kind to donate half of my DNA, I suppose I'll let him.

So to kick off the Thanksgiving weekend... here is a "blog" which is more in email form (he still has some learning to do) from my dad. It is written "to me" instead of really to a general audience, but you get the point. Happy Thanksgiving!

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For the last 10 years or so your mom will ask me to go pick out a turkey, and she will insist that I not get one too big...15lbs would be good for her. But I believe that "bigger is better", so each of the last 10 years I go get the biggest turkey I can find. They average 25 to 26 pounds and Mom is always pissed when I bring it home. I just shrug and say something like..."that is all they had left" or "all of them were that size!" The funny thing is that each year she seems to think that I will actually listen to her! Two years ago I got a huge turkey and also brought home a smoked ham...never has a women gone so ballistic because her husband brought home a 28-pound turkey AND a 12-pound smoked ham.

Well, tomorrow morning I will arrive at Whole Foods to pick up the bird I reserved. I decided that I would not risk being murdered in the middle of the night so I scratched the ham this year... Can you imagine reading in the News & Observer that "Holly Spring women bludgeons to death husband of 29 years" - the weapon, of course would be an 18 lb smoked ham. Her defense on the witness stand, "I really loved him dearly but those huge turkeys always slowed down the Thanksgiving preparation - he deserved it."

One of my favorite stories is hearing how my Grandfather used to ignore his wife and bring home the biggest turkey he could find. One year he found a 34 lb turkey, he bought it home and my Grandmother absolutely freaked. It was so big they had to cut the legs off to get it in the oven. I would have loved to have been there!

So my search for the giant turkey will continue!