Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I am a decision maker. I am decisive. I stick to my guns. I'm not wishy-washy.

I often know exactly what I'm looking for, and if I find it, it's a done deal.

The fact is, I don't think I have enough time in my life to spend thinking, and re-thinking and then over-thinking decisions. For this reason, I'm never late to dinner dates, I don't have trouble deciding what to wear in the mornings, and when my boss expects me to have a plan on his desk by Friday, it will be there a day early. I will never be in one of those discussions, "What do you what for lunch... no I don't care, you pick... I really don't care, anything is fine... well what do you feel like, etc." Ask me what I want, I'll make a decision. I just get it done.

It's just how I'm wired, I think. Get it done and move on the next one.

Some how, some way, even though Chad is the opposite, we don't manage to kill each other with decision making. In fact we've struck a pretty good balance, if I do say so myself. I think at times I can rush into a decision without fully thinking it through. He makes me wait to listen to pros and cons. But in the end, I'll make sure a decision is made and not just discussed.

Exhibit A (shortened):

Me: "What colors should we choose for the outside of the house? I want something neutral so I don't get sick of it."
Chad: "Well, white with black shutters is pretty traditional."
Me: "Perfect! White and black." (Decision made)
Chad: "But with white, it shows dirt more. We'd have to powerwash the house a lot."
Me: "Fine. We'll do cream and black." (Decision re-made)

This quick trigger of mine usually suits me just fine. I supposed it's because most decisions I make only have temporary outcomes and don't really impact me all that much in the long run.

So I think that's why I'm really struggling over this house stuff. A lot of choices we make, we're going to have to live with for several years. So while I could easily choose things that appeal to me at this very moment, I'm not sure how I'd like it in the long-run. I'm now forcing myself to really stop and think these things through. Do my research. Read kitchen and home decorating forums. Ask people who know a thing or two.

So now that I've opened up all these options and opinions, I'm struggling! I feel paralyzed in my ability to make a decision like what freaking doorknob I want. We were supposed to go select kitchen cabinets tomorrow with our designer but something has come up for Chad at work and he's not able to attend. When he asked me to just go solo, I immediately responded with "I CAN'T!!!!" Old me would have been able to choose something like that, no problemo. Now, I'm afraid I'll completely freak out and be unable to make any decision at all out of fear I'll make the wrong one.

Lawdy help me.

Next week is decision week for us. All our exterior selections have already been made. Next Wednesday, we need to choose knobs, fixtures, cabinets, tile floors, tile imprints and back splashes, granite, mantles, carpet, paint and trim colors, etc. In one day. After that - we will be DONE with decision making.

I just need to push through.

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