Rude: Veggie Tales

Bringing back rude - from here, here, here, here and here.

Sooo, I'm just going to put it out there. Sometimes men say ridiculous things. Things so ridiculous you just stare, opened mouthed for a few minutes until you can find the right words.

This weekend, as we were driving to church, Chad says to me:

"We really need to do a better job about eating vegetables."

WHAT?!?!?!?! I wanted to be like, "Oh hi Chad, I'm not sure if you remember me but I'm your wife Caroline. You know, we've been together for about 6 years. Share a bedroom. That kinda stuff."

Does he not even know who I am?!

IIIIIIII need to eat more veggies? With pregnancy hormones pumping through me, it took all the restraint I had not to punch him in the nose.

Because, first of all, by making a comment that "we" need to eat more vegetables --- which, let's be honest, really means ME... because if he was talking about himself he would have just said "I." So if he's saying I need to eat more vegetables, that means he thinks I'm eating crap.

And, for the life of me, I don't know where he gets this from. Coming from the guy who could... and often does... eat potato chips and ice cream every day of his daggum life! I mean - the man still looks really good so I can't hate on him. But not me.

Ask anyone who really knows me what I need to eat more of.

Meat, they might say. Or protein, more specifically. Fiber... because, well, everyone could use more fiber.

But NO ONE would EVER say that I need to eat more vegetables. Because I LOVE vegetables. I might not finish all my pasta... or all my chicken... but you will NEVER see leftover veggies on my plate. And often, they are the one thing I'll get refills of.

Ask my Bible study girls who laugh at me because during any given meal, half of my plate is a mountain of salad.

Ask my mother... who has fed me for the past 27+ years.

I would normally say ask my husband - but he has somewhere along the line decided that I don't eat enough vegetables. And this coming from the man who really does NEVER eat vegetables.

Okay this rant is getting wayyyyy to long. The point is - if the man wants to see vegetables... I'm gonna give him some vegetables. I would be perfectly content to cut meat out of our meals completely. So last night began "Caroline's Reign of Veggies."


Our dinner: veggie sandwiches. Rye-pumpernickle swirl bread with spinach, cucumber, tomato, red onion, avocado and sprouts.

Let's see how long it takes before he starts begging for meat back.

It's been awhile... Rude

Let me set the stage:

Chad and I stopped by Harris Teeter so I could get an icy beverage from Starbucks. He picked up a large Red Bull for himself. We get back in the car. Let the rudeness commence!

Me: "Ugh. The smell of that Red Bull makes me want to vom. Could you please hold the can out the window?"
Chad: "What??!? Why?"
Me: "Because they are disgusting. That smell is nasty."
Chad: "You don't like Red Bull?!?!"
Me: "God no. They taste like liquid Sweet Tarts."
Chad: "You don't like Sweet Tarts!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?"
Me: "No!"
Chad: "I wish I would have known that before I married you."

Rude.

Not really rude...

... more just funny.

(This conversation took place Sunday night right before Chad and I fell asleep, which - sidenote - is always when I decide to ask these random inquisitive questions.)

Me: "Do you think we fight a lot?"
Chad: "No. Do you?"
Me: "No... we hardly ever fight."
Chad (after a few seconds of thoughtful reflection): "...except when you're being irrational."
Me (after .0000001 seconds of thoughtful reflection): "...except when you're being a bully."

Then we went to sleep.

Just sayin'

So I just got off the phone with Chad.

Me: "So far my day at work.... blah blah blah... have you blah blah blah..."
Chad: "My day so far has been blah blah blah..."
(aka: regular random conversation)
Me: "All right honey, we'll I'm going to run. Have a good rest of the day. I love you."
Chad: "I'm eating Chick-Fil-A."
Me: "Ohkkkayyyy... why are you telling me that?"
Chad: "Don't know. Just wanted to tell you."
Me: "Weirdo. Bye."

I say "I love you" - he responds with "I'm eating Chick-Fil-A."

Rude.