I shouldn't laugh.

but I did. Hard.
Oh Tiger, if you need a good PR person - which you obviously do - don't hesitate to give MPLT a call. I have mad skillz.

MWMM: Potty Mouth

For my second blog appearance, I have chosen to write about a funny (and not to mention, embarrassing) experience that happened when I had my first administrative observation in September.

As a first year teacher, you are placed in the Beginning Teacher Program which lasts three years. The program includes many meetings and various observations by other teachers and administrators. My first observation was completed by my mentor and the second by a peer (another teacher in the school). The first two went well, but I was extremely nervous to have my administrative observation, which was being conducted by my school principal. What will he think about the chaos? Will he understand why the kids are playing with playdoh? Will he understand why their letters at literacy are made out of sandpaper? The questions I had were overwhelming. The good news is that he did understand all the reasons why my preschoolers were doing so much playing and exploring...the bad news is that he got to sit in on a quite embarrassing, yet typical, pre-k conversation.

(Note: To better understand this story, it is important to know that during the first week of school, I had two children pull their pants down and pee on the playground...one boy and one girl).

Picture this: It's circle time. Me + sixteen little 4 year olds are together in a circle. We're about to read a book and do some super fun literacy activities. My principal, bless his heart, is sitting in a teeny tiny chair with his suit on and his laptop on the teeny tiny table. He's just ready to type away what happens next...

Child M raises his hand.

Ms. Molly: "Yes, M?"

Child M: "I've got to go poop!"

Ms. Molly: "Alright, please take care of that in the bathroom."

Child B: "Max poops outside."

Ms. Molly: "Yes, B...and is Max an animal or a person?"

Child B: "A dog."

Ms. Molly: "That's right. And B is right boys and girls...animals live outside and they usually pee and poop outside. People live inside so we go to the bathroom inside."

Child C: "Well, if dogs poop and pee outside then they'll get their clothes all poopy." [insert exploding laughter due to the word "poopy" being used]

Ms. Molly: "Good news! Animals don't wear clothes so their clothes will not get poop or pee on them when they use the bathroom outside."

Child A: "My cousin's dog wears a sweater." [dang it, I thought I had 'em]

Ms. Molly: "Well, yes, maybe some dogs do, but most dogs don't and people still only use the bathroom in the inside potty."

Child M: "Well, my dad lets me pee outside." [dang it, I thought I had 'em again]

Ms. Molly: "Some people do different things at their house, but when you're at school the only place you can pee or poop is inside the bathroom in the potty."

Child I: "Then how come B peed on the playground the first week of school?" [now they really gave me away]

Ms. Molly: "It was an accident and now everyone knows that we pee inside. I'm noticing that you all have a lot to say about pee and poop. If you have anything else to say, please whisper it to your hand and tuck it in your heart and you can tell me later. (Editor's note: Gah I can only hope Molly says this to Mike when they get in big fights. That would be a-w-e-s-o-m-e.) We've got to move on to our story."

Thankfully, that was the end of that. But as I felt my face get hotter and hotter, I could only imagine what the Principal had typed on his laptop about our conversation. The good news is that in our meeting that afternoon, he was pleased with how I handled the conversation and his notes say, "conversation turns to poop and pee experiences. teacher handles very well. teacher tells students to whisper stories about their pets to their hands and tell her later. students are ready to begin working with letters." At least they were ready at the end to work on their letters. Maybe they learned something on that day... :)

~~~~~~~
Who doesn't love a good bodily function story! Thanks Ms. Molly!

On a side note, last night as we were about to go to sleep Chad says:

"Ugh. I need to find out what size clothes you wear at different stores in case I get you clothes for Christmas. I tried calling Molly last night and she hasn't returned my call..."

quiet for a few seconds...

"... she's a bad family member."

Busted. It made me laugh but wasn't long enough to merit it's own blog post. So I figured it tack it onto the end of MWMM. So Mol, you've been warned. You're on the outs with Chad.

Top Ten Reasons I Don't Participate in Black Friday

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving that included: a) a mid-day nap on the couch, b) sweet potato casserole, c) NFL football or d) all of the above.

I know you kids are wondering if I was out there on Black Friday shopping up a storm... cause Lord knows, I do love shopping.

It may - or may not - come as a surprise to you that I do NOT participate in the hysteria otherwise known as "Black Friday." And here's why:



10) Ummm... I like my sleep. I'd rather lose a limb than have to get out of bed before 5 a.m.

9) I'd prefer not be shanked or trampled on by some frantic 40-something housewife trying to buy this year's "Tickle Me Elmo" which I hear is a remote control hamster called a Zhu Zhu.

8) I'd prefer not to shop around people that buy remote control hamsters called Zhu Zhus, in general.

7) I'd prefer not to be trampled by people, in general.

6) I don't "do" large crowds of people... unless it is a concert or football game.

5) I don't hunt through piles and piles of clothing that are in complete disarray to find an outfit. I'd rather spend the extra $20 and find what I'm looking for easily.

4) Marketing people are tricky. Yes they might advertise that Wal-Mart is selling a 60 inch LCD TV for $500... but they may only have one in stock... and refer back to #7.

3) You see, there is this really cool thing called the Internet and it sells everything you can imagine - and then some!

2) More often than not, I can find the same "great deals" you found at 4:45 Friday morning at 2:00 Saturday afternoon. Or any time in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Or right after Christmas.

1) Are there really, really, such great deals for you early risers who dare brave the malls and outlets on Black Friday that you are willing to overlook #s 10-2?

I rest my case.

The Great Turkey Search

My dad has requested that he be allowed to guest blog from time to time. Since he was so kind to donate half of my DNA, I suppose I'll let him.

So to kick off the Thanksgiving weekend... here is a "blog" which is more in email form (he still has some learning to do) from my dad. It is written "to me" instead of really to a general audience, but you get the point. Happy Thanksgiving!

~~~

For the last 10 years or so your mom will ask me to go pick out a turkey, and she will insist that I not get one too big...15lbs would be good for her. But I believe that "bigger is better", so each of the last 10 years I go get the biggest turkey I can find. They average 25 to 26 pounds and Mom is always pissed when I bring it home. I just shrug and say something like..."that is all they had left" or "all of them were that size!" The funny thing is that each year she seems to think that I will actually listen to her! Two years ago I got a huge turkey and also brought home a smoked ham...never has a women gone so ballistic because her husband brought home a 28-pound turkey AND a 12-pound smoked ham.

Well, tomorrow morning I will arrive at Whole Foods to pick up the bird I reserved. I decided that I would not risk being murdered in the middle of the night so I scratched the ham this year... Can you imagine reading in the News & Observer that "Holly Spring women bludgeons to death husband of 29 years" - the weapon, of course would be an 18 lb smoked ham. Her defense on the witness stand, "I really loved him dearly but those huge turkeys always slowed down the Thanksgiving preparation - he deserved it."

One of my favorite stories is hearing how my Grandfather used to ignore his wife and bring home the biggest turkey he could find. One year he found a 34 lb turkey, he bought it home and my Grandmother absolutely freaked. It was so big they had to cut the legs off to get it in the oven. I would have loved to have been there!

So my search for the giant turkey will continue!

Nostalgia

There is something about warm, straight from the dryer linens. Chad laughs at me that my favorite thing to do is unload clothes from the dryer, go lay on the couch/bed and pour the clean laundry all over my body for a few minutes while it is still nice, toasty and warm. And my friends in college always said that they liked hugging me because I always smelled like fresh laundry.

I have a thing for it, I guess.

Warm laundry is perhaps one of my favorite things.

I think it might be from my childhood. One of my favorite childhood memories was how every morning during the winter before we'd wake up for school, my mom would lay our school uniforms on the space heater for a few minutes to warm them up. That way, we'd get to put on nice, warm clothes.

Gah. I'm spoiled I know. But I really do have the best mom in the world.

So, imagine my excitement as I'm thumbing through a Bed, Bath & Beyond circular last night when I see THIS:
The "Towel Spa." Description: Nothing feels cozier than a nice, warm towel. Towel Spa thoroughly warms your entire towel inside and out in minutes. Perfect for keeping your towel warm while you're in the bath or shower. It even warms oversized towels, socks, gloves and robes.

Can you believe that? I've been having to dry off with air temperature robes and put plain socks on my chilled feet when all this time the Towel Spa would have been there for me!

Not only do they make a towel spa, but they offer all sorts of stuff like THIS:


Warmrails Temperature Controlled Oil Rubbed Bronze Finish Towel Warmer and Drying Rack This temperature controlled towel warmer and drying rack's electronic control panel offers high, medium and low settings. The Filatherm™ element uses less power than a regular lightbulb and allows you to use your Warmrails 24 hours a day. Perfect for drying towels as well as lingerie, baby clothes, bathing suits and more.

There were DOZENS of things like this. HOW WAS I NOT AWARE?

I gave Chad fair warning that I expect to see a variety of said items under the tree this Christmas.

Towel warmers were meant for me.

House updates

Since I know you can barely stand not knowing any updates on the house, here's the latest.

First- they began putting up framing last week...

Back of the house:

Front of the house:

Note: Chad took these from the car. I'm so paranoid to take the pictures when these poor guys are working on the place. I feel stalkerish.

So they're moving right along. Hopefully, they'll have the second floor complete before Thanksgiving. We owe another big chunk o' change to the builders on Wednesday and that should be it until we go to close. I think all these big checks are taking years off Chad's life. His hair is turning gray. Oh well - it will be worth it in the end.

Easy for me to say... if my hair was turning gray I'd be singing a different tune. But I like Chad's gray hairs. I tell him so frequently... to which he responds, "You better. I didn't have any until I married you."

So last Friday we went with our designer to the cabinet store to select all our cabinets and hardware. I was proud of myself. Decisive, clear-headed and focused. It wasn't until the last 15 minutes when we were having to choose cabinet hardware for things like that laundry room that I started getting a little "NO MORE CHOICES!" But I made it through.

So here we are. Kitchen cabinets will be antique white with a mocha glaze.


Master bathroom cabinets will be black distressed maple, like so:


Buddy bath and laundry room cabinets will be traditional high-gloss white:


I'd show you my hardware - but I barely even remember because it was such a blur. But I did select different hardware for each room. Our designer was good about shushing Chad after he told me, "Don't have too many different ones..." by saying "It's completely fine to have different hardware in different rooms. Choose what YOU like." There was a lot more than went into our cabinet selections - i.e. recessed vs. raised panel, over-laid or not, varying heights or not, decorative hood or extra cabinet space, etc., but I won't bore you. Needless to say, there are a lot more cabinets options than you would think.

So Wednesday afternoon is our next big selection day. We are going to the granite yard, the tile store and the lighting store (if there is enough time). We'll also be choosing the mantle, paint, crown molding, carpet, etc. If we push back the lighting store trip, we'll finish that in January. So pretty much, after this week, all the decisions will be done. Yippee!

Mondays with Ms. Molly - Wedding Edition

Wahoo! I'm so excited to be one of Carrie's guest bloggers and I know you will enjoy some of my crazy stories from the classroom. As Carrie mentioned, I am teaching PreK at an elementary school in Wake County. I thought it might help to know a few things about the program before we get started...

My classroom is a Title I / More at Four PreK within the public school system. The Title I PreK program is federally funded and serves children who are at risk for academic failure and the More at Four part of the program is state funded and means that many of my kids are low income (approximately 3/4 of my class receives free or reduced lunch). So, my class of 16 little ones is very diverse with a large ESL population and most of my kids are new to any school setting. Hope that helps give you a picture!

As many of you know, Mike and I got married a little over two weeks ago. This was the source of much panic and anxiety for me as I feared the worst leaving my little four-year-olds with a substitute teacher. I'm sure I worried more about them than I did about my hair, makeup, dress, etc. Of course, they all handled it beautifully and were still in one piece when I returned. On the flip side, the wedding was also a source of some hilarious one-liners and conversations before and after the big day.

First of all, I never realized how truly confusing this whole concept was to 4 and 5 year olds. They did not understand why it took me so long to get married...I had talked about it for so long and they would say, "Aren't you married yet?" and when I got back they wondered "When will you get married again?", "How long are you going to be married?", etc. I actually found these pretty sweet as I assume they asked these questions because they were worried about me leaving again!

As I mentioned before, many of my kids are English language learners. This can really add to the confusion since not only are these kids 4 and 5 years old and take everything extremely literally, there is also a major language barrier. In the classroom, I have all of the kids bring in a family picture that we have on a shelf. I have one of Mike and I on there as my "Family Picture". This has resulted in many confused faces and "Es your Dad, Ms. Molly?". (Editor's note: I'm already laughing because I can see that Molly is attempting to do their accents when they talk - which she does when she reenacts stories for us on the weekend - which makes this all even more funny. So use your imaginations!) When Mr. Mike came to school one day to visit and meet the class, that was their first comment to him..."You Ms. Molly Dad?". Since they're in pictures with their Dad's, they just assume I am too and I guess now I married mine :)

One day before the wedding, a little girl raised her hand one day during our circle time and asked, "What kinda cake you gonna feed your Beyonce?" Clearly, the term fiance was extremely novel to her...but Beyonce, not so much! When I got back to school, this same little girl looked up at me and asked, "When Mr. Mike put that ring on your finger, did you scream?" (you have to imagine this being said in a very dramatic, drawn out way...did you SCREAM???).

My assistant that attended the wedding was sweet and printed off a few pictures and put them in our "Exploration Station" while I was gone. As soon as I got back they announced, "We see your picture Ms. Molly" and wondered "Why did you kiss Mr. Mike?" and "Why did you feed him cake?". The pictures seemed so silly to them and of course any time a picture came up of me and Mr. Mike smooching, they yelled and screamed "EWWWWWWWWWW!" I told them they didn't need to worry about that until they were big, like me.

Another thing that happened when I got back was that a few of the kids realized I changed my name. See, I've had them call me Ms. Molly the entire year...more personal for the little ones and less confusing since I knew I'd be getting married. Problem is, the kids hear other teachers in the school call me Ms. Keel and now Mrs. Beavers. Most of them ignore it and are ok when I explain to them that some teachers call me that, but kids call me Ms. Molly. Others, however, think it's funny to laugh and point and call me Ms. Keel (like it's in some way embarrassing or funny?) since they know that's not my name in the classroom. A couple of days after I'd been back, I was talking to this little boy who was inquiring about my name change. I simply told him that he could still call me Ms. Molly, but that some teachers might call me Mrs. Beavers now since my name changed when I got married. He looked at me quietly for a few seconds and then announced, "That's silly, I'll just call you Ms. Treehouse". Clearly he felt that changing my name was so arbitrary that why not change it again to something he liked!

Ok, so I'm still figuring this whole blogging thing out, but I hope you have enjoyed a few of the wedding-related anecdotes from the land of PreK. Look out for next week's post when I tell the story of my first administrative observation as a first year teacher. You won't believe what the topic of conversation was as my Principal sat in my room!

~ ~ ~

Editor's note: An EXCELLENT first post from Ms. Molly - it already made me laugh out loud several times. Now on a serious note, Molly doesn't know I'm doing this... and she certainly didn't ask me... but I wanted to share a request Mol made to her family and friends. At Molly's school, they more than 120 kids and families who have requested help this holiday season... 12 of which are her own students and their families. It absolutely breaks my heart to think there are kids out here who aren't able to have a traditional Christmas (or Hanukaa or Kawanzaa or whatever) like most of us take for granted. Just as much, I know these parents often feel horrible guilt for not being able to provide gifts for their own children. Chad and I have "taken" children and families through a program in our church in the past - and have actually been able to deliver the presents ourselves - and you would not believe the joy these gifts are met with. We've delivered some gifts to a family full of teenage boys in a very rough neighborhood and they smiled and giggled like little girls when helping us unload their gifts.

That said - EVERY CHILD deserves something to open over the holiday season. And I know Molly - if there are 20 students left on that list, she'll try and find a way to take care of each and every one of them by herself. So if you have been looking for a way to give back this holiday season, or have felt called to contribute - please let me know. Molly said most people spend about $50 per child in order to get them a couple items of clothing and a few toys. I'll get more info for you, if you are interested.

Back to the laugher. Thanks for the post, Ms. Treehouse! We're eagerly awaiting next Monday's addition.